The priesthood is an inconceivable vocation for a lot of people. Just last week I was explaining to a classmate that I was studying to be ordained as an Anglican priest. The first words out of her mouth were: “okay, so… next question – why??” To be honest, I’m not always sure. I’m not sure I know how to answer that question, and I’m not even sure that it’s possible for me to answer it.

Thankfully, a vocation to ordained ministry really isn’t about following what would seem, in the moment, to be merely a fun or exciting job. Growing up I would change my dream job every few weeks, every time I came across a new book I liked, or a new subject in school – it ranged from a jockey to an RCMP officer to a chemist. My sense of my own vocation is something entirely different. It doesn’t feel like something I stumbled across one day or something that I’ll grow out of. It feels like something that’s been growing inside me over the years. I was five the first time I turned my eyes to the front of the church, leaned over to my mother and whispered, “One day, I want to be prime Minister, just like him!” I was sixteen when I realized that I would never feel at home in the sciences, looking to help the world through the pharmaceutical industry. I was nineteen when I headed off to Bible college in New Brunswick and it was in that year that I discovered the Anglican liturgy and the Anglican community. I was twenty-four when I entered into the seminary

I never had the chance to experience a program like the Montreal Ministry Internship, although it would have been a fantastic way to dip my toes in the waters of Anglicanism. I’ve been around the church enough at this point to know that ministry of any sort isn’t simple. There is much joy to be found in the church but there is also lots of hard work to be done ahead. One of the most encouraging aspects of seminary is the opportunity to do this planning and discerning as part of a group working together toward a common goal. That will be one of the greatest strengths of the Montreal Ministry Internship. That’s what I would have loved to have found a few years ago when my discernment process began. It’s an opportunity not to be passed up!

What an extraordinary summer!

I came to the Montreal Ministry Challenge (now Internship) feeling like somewhat of a misfit in the church.  However, I was serious about my own faith, which I had explored through the arts, work & recreation in the wilds of northern Ontario, and various forms of church community across several denominations.

Perhaps coming from a clergy family (my mother was ordained to the Anglican priesthood in my early teens) had given me the deep roots that held me as I explored faith, justice, religion, and myself in a wide (and sometimes unsavoury) variety of contexts throughout my 20’s.  Whatever the case, when I first heard about the summer Ministry program in Montreal, I was both excited and reluctant – excited because it looked like an opportunity to really experience “church work” from the inside, and reluctant because I wasn’t sure how loyal I was to any one form of institutional religion.  Could I imagine myself as an Anglican priest or deacon?!  And would I be accepted as I was as I continued to ask that question?

Finally, I decided to go for it.  The summer proved to be a wonderful experience, during which I turned my hand to all sorts of ministries across the city.  I was encouraged to wrestle with my own faith questions by a thoughtful and welcoming group of fellow seekers.  I discovered that the church is far more varied, transformative, and flexible than I had ever imagined.  I have stayed in touch with several of the people I met that summer and I am constantly impressed by how they continue to re-imagine – and enact – ministry within the church.

After the summer of 2003, I completed a theology degree at St. Paul University in Ottawa, then moved to a Christian ‘intentional community’ in southern England, where I lived for two years.  Some time after my return to Canada, I picked up the thread of discernment of priestly call again and last autumn, began Masters studies at the Atlantic School of Theology in Halifax, Nova Scotia.  I entered the formal process of discernment towards ordination with this diocese and I continue to be surprised by the richness and variety of ministry possible within the Anglican church.

As I think over all these years of  spiritual seeking, my summer of Montreal Ministry stands out as one of the experiences where I was most fully welcomed and most wonderfully challenged to take God’s call to heart.

I was an intern in 2003, the first year of the Montreal Ministry Internship. The possibility that I might be called to ordained ministry had been on my mind and in my heart for quite a few years but I was absorbed in other pursuits. Besides, I was nervous about committing myself to so human an institution as the church which has been a source of deep sadness as well as great joy in my life. The Montreal Ministry Internship presented itself as the perfect opportunity to sort out my feelings about the church and my possible vocation to ordained ministry – and to return to Montreal for a summer. So my husband and I sublet our apartment in New York, where we were attending grad school, and headed north.

That summer proved to be rich with blessings. I formed some very important relationships which continue to enrich my life and my understanding of ministry. I was stretched by my parish placement, my supervisor, and my fellow interns to examine the church, the work of ministry, the role of ordained people, and my personal faith commitments. By the end of the summer, I was quite sure I was called to be a deacon.

But my discernment was not yet finished. Fortunately, the Internship had equipped me with valuable tools for continuing the work of theological reflection on my own and with the church community I eventually found in New York. I came to see that God was indeed calling me to ordination but to the priesthood and I am now in my final year of the M.Div. program at the Montreal Diocesan Theological College. It’s been a somewhat winding path and I am deeply grateful for the grounding provided by my experience in the Montreal Ministry Internship.

We live in a society where the majority does not find the need to serve God.  This concerns me greatly and I had wondered many times when will I stray away from God. I know many people who were brought up in the church while growing up. They enjoyed their first communion, and then had their confirmation. Unfortunately, a few years after confirmation life kicks in, which leads most young people to seek pleasure in other places instead of the church. School, work and the world around us get a hold of most young adults. They become extremely occupied during the week so when Sunday
morning comes around, they are too tired to wake up for church. These are the kind of stories most of my Christians friends illustrates to me.

It makes me wonder, why do I still have such solid foundation in my Christian life? How have I been able for the past 10 years, to work part-time, attend school and wake up every Sunday morning to attend the 9am services as well as the Wednesday services at St. Georges Anglican Church? The answer is simple. My faith and desire for God were directed during my weeks with the Montreal Ministry Challenge. Hence, my heart always longs to get to know God constantly.

A parishioner at St. George’s informed me about the Ministry in 2005. I read the pamphlet and pondered on it for a while before applying. ( Not anticipating how wonderful and beneficial it was going to be of service in my life)

One of our activities was to find the deeper part of ourselves. Whatever situation I have encountered till now, I always find myself in a quite place asking God to show me a way and also center myself deeply on scriptures. Yes, it can be very difficult at first but gradually the voice of God becomes very real and you cannot stray from it. Furthermore, we had a study on Basic Pastoral Care with Bryan Pearce and wow will I be forever grateful to him. His teachings on Empathy, unconditional position regards and communication lessons have helped me in many ways. The part of the lesson that resonates with me was the unconditional positive regard: As ambassadors of Jesus Christ we are called to accept everyone as they are. We are called to hate the sin but LOVE THE SINNER. While I mature in my Christian life over the years, I try to imitate such behavior. Also, I recognize that this is exactly what Jesus did during his life spent on earth.

For my parish internship, I was placed with Nick Brotherhood at Emerge. Emerge was a “Gathering Community” at the undercroft of the Cathedral. Their environment was completely different from my church. Nevertheless, at the end of each service the same message was delivered; to love God and make him know to those you encounter. Nick’s intention every Sunday was purposely design to stir up a discussion at the end of his sermon, and I watched him every Sunday accomplishing his goal while many of the members participate in lively and God filled discussions. I think this is why they called themselves “Gathering Community” instead of a church.

I enjoyed the activities which we were involved in, including serving meals at St. Michael’s Mission to the homeless, visiting the elderly at Fulford Residence, and spending time at the Seaffers at old port with different people who travel on seas to make a living and support their family in their country. I enjoyed listening to most of their life’s story, have services with them and off course enjoyed the numerous sets of games they had set up around us. I was thrilled to be part of a community who is making such a difference in so many peoples lives.

One activity that I continued to involve myself in after the program was Prison Ministry with Peter Huitsh. During the program, I was fascinated by the work Peter was doing. I learned from him the importance of building a broken community of faith. During most of our discussions with the inmates, his intention was to engage all of us around a Godly discussion.

In addition, I enjoyed our weekly reflection together. It was very refreshing hearing from everyone how their week was enfolding, and to discuss any difficulties we encountered during that week. Also, I liked that we were giving the opportunity to lead morning prayers and the Eucharist; this has allowed me to be of service to my own church from time to time.

Finally, nerves kicked in when I had to deliver my sermon to Emerge. I can vividly remember that day at the undercroft. My sermon was focused on prayer. I truly believe that a prayerful Christian is able to discern the directions of God more clearly. I noticed that wherever we went either with my group or with Nick; meeting some members for coffee we always began with a short prayer. Hence the reason I wanted to elaborate more on prayer. While writing my sermon I recalled many things that we were taught during the Ministry. I remember this: “If courage makes a preacher bold reverence will make them humble”. We should always allow God to speak to us while writing our sermons.

The goal of a sermon is to stir up some type of hunger for God on a daily basis. Up until today, you will never find me thinking of anything else when I’m alone but in constant prayer and listening for God to speak to me in anyway possible. With God’s help, I’m a Registered Medical technologist at the Jewish General Hospital in Microbiology. My contract at the JGH allows me to have Sundays off in order to attend my regular Sunday worship. I assist Reverend Cannon Ralph Leavitt with the Chalice some Sunday mornings. I find it a blessing most mornings when our Verger Paul hands
me the scripture to read. There is always something real and different in the scriptures, which I am very familiar with. Ralph always preachers that no matter how familiar you
are with the message; pray that the Lord will strengthen you in a different way with the same message.

I strongly believe the weeks I spent with at the Ministry Challenge really equipped me to be able to serve my church and the people I encounter everyday. The Ministry Challenge strengthened my faith and laid a strong foundation for my Christian journey which no storm can destroy. I know with God’s help I’m constantly being deeply rooted in my faith and will never stray away from God. I am certain about that now more than ever.

“I applied for the 2003 internship in the middle of the third year of my BA.  I had started my degree in International Development, with a few courses in religious studies (mostly because I was interested in studying Hinduism!).  As I continued, my degree came to include more and more religious studies, particularly in theology and biblical studies.  I knew that I wanted to continue studying, but I also knew that somehow, my life was going to include work somewhere close to that area.  By the end of my third year, I had applied for some internships with church-based development agencies, but couldn’t get any of them to work out.  I was starting to think that I might look into the priesthood, but didn’t really know where to start–it seemed really frightening to look into a formal discernment process when I wasn’t really sure.  Besides, I didn’t even know if the church was still ordaining young adults!

Montreal Ministry Internship 2011 Poster

“The Montreal Ministry Challenge came at an apt time in my life. I was just beginning to consider ministry as a possibility in my life, but not ready to pursue an official discernment process through the diocese I was with (I was living in Montreal for school, but still considered myself a member of the diocese of Edmonton). It was one of those occurrences where I was ready to start exploring ministry and a local priest said “Oh, well there is a summer program this year geared towards just that.” The circumstances of the event seemed too well suited for my situation to let pass by.

“It proved to be a chance for me to “try ministry on for size.” The placement in a local parish allowed me to do just that. As it was for me, ministry felt more “right” than expected and several years later (enough time for seminary, etc.) I’m serving as a curate back in Edmonton. The freedom of the Ministry Challenge was that I could explore ministry and begin a process of discernment apart from anything official. My sense all along has been that ministry ought not to be entered lightly (this has only been strengthened!), and these chances for discernment and testing are key.”